


Carry On - Supernatural 15x20 fix-it-fic

by whilend_poet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Love Confessions, One Year Later, Rescue, SPN - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:14:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whilend_poet/pseuds/whilend_poet
Summary: ( so I made an AO3 account specifically because I wanted to write this fic, please for the love of my sanity, give it a read )After defeating Chuck, the Winchester Brothers are finally free. However, Dean doesn't feel this way. Maybe this has something to do with losing his best friend, Castiel. Maybe it has something to do with Castiel confessing his feelings for Dean before he went. Dean knew he wouldn't feel free until he talked to Cas, and the only way to do that was to save him from The Empty.(I am not affiliated with the CW and do not own these characters)
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, DeanCas, Destiel, Eileen Leahy & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 52





	Carry On - Supernatural 15x20 fix-it-fic

Dean Winchester lay awake in his bed, restless. His shaggy rescue dog, Miracle, snored sleepily near his feet. He stared up at the ceiling turning over that day's events in his head. Him, Sammy, and Jack had overpowered Chuck: God himself. So why did he feel so lost? Why'd his stomach feel like it was twisted into a thousand knots? He raked his rough hands down his face, hoping that sleep would suddenly overcome him. It didn't. He checked the alarm clock sitting on his bedside table. It read: 3:32am. "What the hell's that matter with me…" he groaned into his palms. He knew that sleep was a battle he couldn't win. 

Unable to rest, he slung his bowed-legs out of his bed, untangling them from his sheets and blankets, careful not to wake the sleepy dog at the end of his bed. He walked barefoot through the halls of the bunker, his feet setting a gentle rhythm against the polished floors. He made it to the main room, where he and Sammy did most of the research for their hunts. He grabbed a crystal glass and a large bottle of Jack Daniels from the shelf and plopped into his regular chair at the end of the table. He gazed down at the table to where a small lamp leaked yellow light over his family's carved initials. Tonight, there were more names than usual. He and Sammy had added the names 'Castiel' and 'Jack' underneath their own. 

It had been his idea after today's events to add them. He had told Sammy that it was the least they deserved after both of their sacrifices. "Sacrifices," Dean said to himself. Something about that word stirred things inside of him; something like guilt or longing. His eyes lingered on Castiel's name for a while. His fingers traced over the carved oak. Even if Cas hadn't carved it himself, it still felt like it was a piece of him, no matter how small. His vision blurred. That guilty longing seemed to grow stronger. Memories of Cas through the years flashed in Dean's mind. Like the first time he met him, bursting through those barn doors, lights and sparks erupting, all those years ago. Dean had tried to stab him right there. A small, pained chuckle escaped Dean's lips. Little did he know how many times the angel starring back at him, with a tilted head and confused blue eyes, would save his life…even if it cost him his own. Dean hadn't even realized he'd started crying. He didn't understand…he was alive, and Cas knew the consequences of dealing with The Empty, so why did he feel like this? He knew this feeling from times when Cas had died before. He felt the pangs of guilt and loneliness, this longing. But this time felt different. Cas had told him something he couldn't believe before he went. He had said he loved him. He loved him? Of course, they had said they loved each other before, but the way Cas had said it…it was unlike their familiar best friend, 'hey, I love you, man.' It was vulnerable in a way they rarely were with each other. He said he was in love with...him. What the hell did that mean? How couldn't anyone feel that way about him? Especially Cas, a man he had known for so long and been through so much with. His best friend. How could he have missed this? 

The familiar patter of his Sam's feet approached. Dean quickly dried his face to avoid any odd looks from his brother. Sam yawned and grabbed another whiskey glass as he sauntered in.  
"Couldn't sleep?" He asked Dean.

"No...a lot on my mind," Dean answered with a sniff, trying to hide all signs of tears that were there only moments ago. He hated having 'chick-flick' moments.  
"Yeah, I only slept for an hour or so... I'm glad Eileen, Bobby, and the rest of the hunters are okay but, there's still a lot to think about," Sam said, grasping the whiskey bottle and pouring himself and Dean a glass. Dean hadn't even realized he never poured himself a drink, which was very unusual. He had to get out of whatever this funk was. 

"Tell me about it.." Dean said nonchalantly. 

"Actually, I was hoping you could tell me about…Cas? We never really had a chance to talk about what happened in all the chaos with Chuck...and I'd like to know how he...went out." Sam said, a tinge of sorrow in his voice; he had lost a friend too, a brother. Dean's face tightened. Of all things to ask, Sam wanted to know about what was torturing him the most? 

As if Sam could read his thoughts, he said, "Unless you don't...want to?" He knew Dean always took things that happened with Cas personally; maybe it had something to do with their 'profound bond' Cas always brought up. 

"No, no, it's fine," he forced a chuckle, "You're right. We haven't really talked about this yet. Hell, I've hardly had a chance to think through it all myself.." He said, trying to sound as masculine and unaffected as he could. He took a sip of his drink to wet his suddenly dry mouth and sucked his teeth. Why was it so hard for him to get these words out? 

"Uh.. so Billie...was pissed.." 

"Well, I kinda got that, Dean.." 

"Okay, okay. I'm getting there. " Dean swirled his glass. "Basically, Billie's scratch I gave her…that was a fatal blow apparently; it killed her…but slowly. Like a cancer of sorts, I guess. But she still wanted me dead. She chased us around the bunker for a while. Banged us up pretty bad. Gave me a damn heart-attack, literally." His voice softened, "then Cas and I warded ourselves in the dungeon. But we knew that could only hold so long...I thought we were gonna die in there." 

Sam's brows furrowed, "How did you get out..alive?"

Dean half-smiled fondly, but guilt weighed down his green eyes. "Cas had a plan to lure The Empty to take Billie. To do that, he told me about this deal he made. He…he said that to save Jack back up in heaven a few years back, he made a deal with The Empty… a deal that promised to take him when he was completely and totally happy." 

Sam, now even more confused, asked, "I'm not following..happy? This wasn't exactly what I would call 'a happy situation' for you all, Dean." 

Dean nodded. "No…but Cas knew there was one thing he could do that would make him happy. He…" Dean trailed off, his voice growing weary from holding back tears. 

"Dean..?" Sam could tell whatever Cas did was really hurting him, "What did he say?"

"He made a...confession, I guess." He said,"…the one thing he truly wanted…was something he could never have." Dean felt a hot tear roll down his cheek before looking down at the carved table again, unable to meet his brother's eyes. "He said that he wanted…that he…loved..me." by the time he croaked out his sentence, he was barely whispering.

Sam was shocked. A rush of emotions ran across his face. He couldn't believe it. Had Castiel always loved Dean? All those times he answered Dean's prayers like it was his priority, their 'profound bond' was all that…love? He looked at Dean, holding back sobs now, and could tell that he was just as shocked by this revelation as he was. 

"He sacrificed himself for me." Dean whimpered.

"For love," Sam added.

Dean looked at Sam with grief-worn eyes and said, "And now he's gone. Because he thought I was worth saving. Because he saw something in me, no one else could! Because something about me was worth loving! And I didn't even say anything back, Sammy! Not even a goodbye. He gave himself to The Empty for me, and I didn't even say a word. Not a damn word!" 

Sam pitied his big brother, "I'm so sorry, Dean," Sam said, trying to comfort him. It had been a long time since he'd seen Dean in this bad a shape. Sam shifted uncomfortably, knowing what question he must ask for clarity, "I've gotta ask: Do you…feel the same way, Dean?" Sam asked carefully. Sexuality was a weird topic he couldn't remember ever talking about with Dean before. Dean's eyebrows knitted together in defense.

"What the hell do you mean?" 

Sam swallowed. "I don't know, Dean, your best friend, confessed that he's been in love with you for years before sacrificing himself to The Empty. I'm just trying to understand your side. I'm asking: do you having feelings for Cas?"

"I DONT KNOW!" Dean shouted; the words were loud, but that's not why they startled him. No, no, he didn't think about Cas like that; he just couldn't.

"Look," he said more quietly, "Cas, he's one of us. He's family." Dean said. Sam nodded, satisfied enough with his brother's answer, although he still didn't fully understand Dean's feelings. But he knew questioning him would cause a fight. Dean threw back the rest of his whiskey. His eyes stirring with thoughts and decisions. 

"I've decided. We've gotta go get him. We can't just leave him in the empty, Sammy. It's not right for him to sacrifice himself for me. I can't just…let him die."

Sam nodded and said, "I doubt Jack has enough strength to pull Cas out of the empty right now." 

Dean knew he was probably right. Jack had just reset the world and become God, after all. "He's being tortured every second he's there. We should at least ask him. Or maybe research. Faster we figure how to open a portal to the empty, faster we can save Cas' feathery ass and bring him home." Sam nodded. Dean looked at Cas' carved name once more.  
"We never leave family behind," he said solemnly.

The early morning sky eventually turned to a sleepy pink-orange haze above the bunker as the sun rose on the horizon. Sam and Dean polished off the bottle of Jack Daniels before they headed back to their rooms to get what few hours of sleep they could. They had decided that they would summon Jack after they rested up for their confrontation with The Empty. Dean walked idly back to his room and collapsed on his bed. He didn't feel tired, but he knew that he needed to sleep to have enough strength to rescue Cas. He looked at the ceiling of the bunker and day-dreamed about what he'd say to the angel when they were reunited. He was drawing blanks: what could he possibly say that could relate to him how he felt? Thank you? No, that didn't feel right. It's not every day; your best friend sacrifices himself and confesses his feelings for you in one fatal blow. With thoughts tumbling in his mind, he fell into a light bout of sleep. It wasn't until he smelled a wave of bacon that he shot up out of his slumber. When he made it to the kitchen, Sam was at the stove, scrambling eggs and frying bacon. Dean smiled. Sometimes he forgot just how much he and Sam had grown up. Sometimes he failed to remember that they weren't kids anymore, fending for themselves. A sense of pride washed over him as he watched his baby brother cook, even if it was a mundane task. Not only could they slash monsters, but they could also cook, somewhat. And by Dean's standards, he'd say they turned out pretty alright, all things considered.

Sam, sensing his presence, said, "I thought I'd cook us some breakfast. We'll need our strength if we're going to pull this off." Dean nodded as he waltzed over to the stove, eyeing the sizzling bacon in the pan.

"Is that…real bacon? Or is that your sad, excuse-for-meat, turkey bacon crap?" He asked. 

Sam huffed as he rolled his eyes, "Yes, Dean, it's real. I didn't want to hear you whine about my turkey bacon again." 

Dean smiled. "There ya go, Sammy, you're becoming a real meat-man!" 

Sam chuckled. "Dean, for the last time, you gotta stop saying that." They both laughed.

Later, Sam prepared him and Dean a plate full of eggs and bacon. Dean had made them toast and poured them both a glass of orange juice. It still felt so surreal that they were here in the bunker after yesterday's events. Alive. 

"I thought after breakfast we could dig into some of the lore and see what we could find before summoning Jack," Sam said, sipping his juice.

Dean nodded. "Probably a good idea. I wonder how the kids' managing the whole God-thing," he said, slipping Miracle a slice of bacon under the table.

"I guess we'll know soon enough." Sam replied.

After they ate, they walked to the main room and started reading any and all lore books about The Empty they could find. There wasn't much to read, but they tried just the same. A couple hours into their research, Sammy spoke up,  
"So get this," he stated, "The empty's door can be opened with one of Rowena's spells and enough power to keep it open."

"That's great," Dean said. "Do we have all the materials? What's the catch?" 

Sam studied the book more, "Mostly. We need some angel grace, but…it looks like the real catch is…Jack has to hold the door open, so there's enough power to operate…and I would have to keep fueling the spell for the door to stay open…that means you'd have to go into the empty…alone." silence followed. 

"Son of a bitch...it's not ideal, but we have to save him."

"Dean…I don't know about this—"  
"Sam," He said sternly, "He sacrificed himself for this whole world, for you, for Jack, for me…we can't leave him there." Sam knew he was right. 

"We just saved the world. I just don't want to risk losing my brother again." 

"I know Sammy. I'll be careful. Quick in and out trip." He said with the most reassuring smile he could muster. Sam gave his doubting half-smirk. He knew whatever he said wouldn't stop Dean from putting his life on the line.

After clearing the details on the plan, Sam and Dean stood up to summon Jack. Dean cleared his throat and licked his lips,  
"Hey, kid…we uh…we need you down here," He attempted to pray out loud. Then, the lights flickered in the bunker, and Jack appeared in front of them. 

"Hello." He said, raising a hand to wave at them. 

"Hey, buddy," Sam said with a grin, "How are you holding up?"

Jack smiled slightly, "it's..different. Not bad, but there's a lot of work to be done." He answered. Sam and Dean nodded at him. "Did you..need me?" "Yeah, actually…we were wondering about Cas." Dean began.

Jack's smile faltered. "The first thing I did once I got up to heaven was try to reach him… I'm afraid my power isn't strong enough yet to reach the empty." 

Dean looked at him with reassurance, "We figured, kid… you've done well. We knew you'd be pretty spent. That's why Sammy and I did some research. We think we have a plan." Jack's eyes lit up, ready to hear this plan of theirs.

After explaining the plan, Jack asked, "And you're sure you're okay with going in there alone?" 

"I have to, Jack," Dean said. Jack nodded at this.

"The only thing we need to do the spell would be angel grace, and since you're not technically an archangel anymore and we don't have Cas…" Sam started.

"You'll need some from heaven." He concluded.

"Right," Sam answered.

Dean nodded, "I thought you and I could head upstairs to get some while Sammy here prepares the spell." 

"You want to come up to heaven with me?" Jack asked. Sam was curious about this too. 

"Well yeah, I thought I could be your back up if anyone didn't want to give up their grace." 

Jack smiled. "I don't think that will be a problem, but you're welcome to come with me." 

"Sounds good. Sammy, can you prepare the spell while we're gone?" 

"I'm on it," Sam said, going to work immediately. 

"Let's do this," Dean said to Jack. Jack grabbed Dean's arm and closed his eyes. The world around them suddenly faded away, and they felt a swoosh of air rush over them. Then they stopped. Dean gasped; he hated teleporting. "I'll never get used to that," he said exasperated.

Jack chuckled. "We made it!"  
Dean looked around. He had been up to heaven before, but it was somehow…different. What once felt so sterile and cold, now felt…warm? It felt like getting back to the bunker after a long hunting trip or waking up in the impala. It felt like...home. Dean smiled. 

"I like what you've done with the place." 

Jack grinned, "Thank you. Chuck's heaven was not what I felt like humans deserved. I tried to make it better. I thought humans should all be together in heaven, so I've eliminated separate 'rooms.' Now, everyone is together. They can reunite with loved ones and make new friends, not just relive the memories of a time gone by."  
Dean smiled at Jack widely.

"You're a hell of a kid, Jack," Dean said, suddenly feeling a weight in his stomach: guilt again. "Speaking of which, I owe you an apology." 

Jack stiffened. "Dean, you owe me nothing." 

"No, no, I do. What I said about you…about you not being family..." Dean's voice caught in his throat; he couldn't believe his past actions. They didn't even feel like him. "I can't ever apologize enough for what I put you through. I was just so angry. About my mom, about Chuck, about the world. You didn't deserve to be the punching bag for what you couldn't control." 

"What I did to Mary…" Jack started with tears stinging his eyes, "is my biggest regret on earth. I've already apologized to her up here." 

Dean's eyes widened, "You did?" 

"Yeah, and I met John too. I see so much of you and Sam in them." Jack said distantly. 

Dean composed himself, "Well, I'm glad you got to see them. I'm glad you got to make amends." He said, "But what I'm trying to tell you, Jack is…What I said, what I've put you through...you don't deserve that, and I'm truly sorry. You mean so much more to me than you will ever know. You're family." 

"Dean, I knew the moment you drew a gun on Sam that you were being controlled by Chuck. He made you so angry, you would have done or said anything. It was his design, for you to be a weapon of destruction, breaking anything in your path even if it hurt you to do or say it." 

Dean let his tears fall now, "Yeah, well…I still allowed him to make me feel that way… I just hope someday, somehow you, Sam, everyone..can forgive me." 

"It's already done. Of course, I forgive you, Dean. You, Sam, Cas…you all have raised me, you've been better fathers than Lucifer ever could be." Jack said, tears making lines down his cheeks. Dean smiled between sobs. 

"Come here, kid." They embraced, something they only did if their lives were on the line. "I love you, Jack," Dean said.

"I…love you too, Dean," Jack couldn't remember if they had ever explicitly said that to each other before. He hugged even tighter. After hugging for some time, Dean patted Jack's shoulder. 

"Now," he sniffed, "let's go get some damn angel grace."

Jack was right about how easy it'd be to get the grace. Since Chuck had been such a terrorist in heaven when he returned, Jack's new reign was looked at as a new, bright beginning. Many angels were happy to give a piece of their grace to save the famous angel Castiel too. Once they got enough for the spell, they teleported back to the bunker. Sam stood over a mortar and pestle, combining various herbs and potions. 

"You all were quick," he stated.

"The angels were happy to give up their grace. Turns out Jack is one hell of a God." Jack smiled at the approval he felt from Dean.

"Like we knew you would be," Sam added.

"Here's the grace," Dean said, leaving the small vile of glowing bluish-white liquid on the table, "I'm gonna go get some weapons out of Baby, be right back." 

Dean prodded off to the garage and opened the door. Turning on the lights, He laid eyes on the glossy black beauty that was Baby, His '67 Chevy Impala. 

"Hey, Baby," he murmured, running his fingertip across the side of the car. He walked back to the trunk and popped it open to reveal his bountiful collection of weapons. He wasn't sure what would kill The Empty. The lore never specified. So he took a bit of everything. His demon blade and angel blade strapped to his left thigh in a holster, A pocket knife in his back pocket, and a pistol tucked into the back of his jeans, for safe measure. He was about to close the trunk when his eyes caught a glimpse of a bloody bundle of fabric. He unraveled it to reveal the jacket he was wearing the night Cas was killed. Before Cas was taken, he had pushed Dean aside with the bloody hand he'd used to put up the warding against Billie, leaving a bloody handprint. He let out a weary sigh as he traced the stain. It was so weird that the stain he left was a handprint on his shoulder of all places. A few years back, when Castiel had rescued Dean from hell, he had left a scorch mark at the exact same spot on Dean's broad shoulder. Cas had held onto Dean so tight while rescuing him, he'd marked him. Dean smiled, remember Cas' retelling of how he, "gripped him tight and raised him from perdition." He stared at the jacket a few moments more and decided he'd wear it for good luck. It felt like a piece of Cas in some way, and if he'd have to walk into the empty alone, he at least wanted to have a part of someone with him. He didn't even realize Sam was standing in the doorway, smiling at him. "Hey uh…the spell. It's ready." Dean nodded, slamming the trunk and heading off, ready to save his angel. 

Back in the main room, Jack sat in front of the potion Sam had concocted in the bowl. The different spices, herbs, and various liquids gave the room a medicinal smell as Sam and Dean entered.

"So for this to work, Jack will open the door to the empty. Because his power is so low, he can't do it on his own. So I'll be fueling an opening spell as a backup. Hopefully, that will be enough to open the door and keep it open long enough for you to save Cas and get back here. Alive." Dean could tell Sam was nervous, but he knew it was now or never. 

"Let's do this," Dean affirmed. 

Jack stood up and nodded in the direction of each Winchester. He took a deep breath in and outstretched his arms. He closed his eyes for a beat and then opened them to reveal yellow, glowing irises. Suddenly a black gash of liquid spilled, seemingly out of the air. It did not fall to the floor but grew outward, stretching its inky reaches broader and wider. Dean's jaw tightened. He recognized this. This is what swallowed up Cas. This is what took Cas from him. It was empty. This determined him more. Sam cleared his throat and started speaking Enochian, chanting one of Rowena's ancient spells. The bowl suddenly caught fire, glowing that same angel-grace blue. Sam finished the spell and walked to his brother. "Please, come back alive." He said tearfully,

"Will do, Sammy. "

They hugged and nodded at one another. "I'll keep the spell aflame as long as I can. But please, make it a quick trip for Jack's sake." 

Dean looked to Jack, already straining under the stress of keeping the portal open. 

"Keep on fighting, Jack. I'll is home with Cas soon." Dean said, passing Jack, nearing the portal. Jack nodded but said nothing as to keep all his attention on the empty. Dean walked to the portal and looked back at the boys. 

"See you on the other side." He said before turning and walking into the inky blackness.

When Dean came to, he was in the empty. It was so different from anything he'd ever experienced. The only thing it vaguely reminded him of was hell. But at least in hell, there was something to fear, torturous demons, Lucifer, something. But here…there was nothing to haunt you but your own thoughts, slowly driving you to madness. It was so…desolate. He took a shaky step. Not even knowing where to go from here. For the first time since he'd come up with this plan, he was scared. He didn't know what the hell he was doing. But he trudged on, determined to find Cas. If not Cas, then anyone, anything.

He wandered aimlessly through the blackness of the empty. Every now and again, he'd hear a faint scream in the distance and change course to find the screamer. It led him nowhere. He was feeling guilty. He hoped Sam and Jack were holding up alright. In his desperation, he decided to yell. 

"CAS!" He started, "Please! If you can hear me, please give me a sign!" a beat of silence passed before a subtle whoosh made him freeze in his tracks.

"A sign, huh?" A womanly voice said from behind him. He whirled around. It was The Empty, enhabiting the body of Meg, a demon the Winchesters and Cas had known for some time, sitting on a large throne that hadn't been their moments before. "I thought I smelled a Winchester in here," she grimed.

When Dean didn't answer, she continued, "When the angel had woken me up, I thought surely, surely if he was dead again, I could sleep again. But here I am, awake. I'm supposed to be able to rest now!" She said, getting angrier with every word. "So tell me, Dean, why am I still awake?" 

"Look Meg, Empty, whoever the hell you are, I don't know why you can't get your stupid beauty rest, but I'm here to get Cas, end of discussion." 

She scoffed at his arrogance, "That fool is the reason I'm awake. He deserves every ounce of torture I'm going to give him," She spat. "And our little deal gave me ample ammunition. Finding out what makes him happiest made my job so much easier." She smirked. "You see, when I found out the angel was a love-sick puppy for you, Dean, I just made sure to play 'Dean and Cas's greatest hits' over and over in his mind," she cooed, " Every fight, every betrayal, every heartbreak is on loop in his mind until the end of time." 

Dean's stomach twisted. Cas didn't deserve torture. And it made him sick to think he was responsible for all the torture material in his head. Grimacing, he spoke up, "Look, I'm sorry you're awake. I understand you're angry. But Cas…he doesn't deserve this. It's not right." he pleaded, "Listen, Chuck, he's gone now, he probably promised to tuck you in and kiss you good night if you took out Cas, right? Well, we beat him. Anything he said he could give you...he can't anymore!" He paused, hoping he sounded convincing, "But Jack... he's the new God. He can put you to sleep once he's fully charged from saving the world. Unless you keep Cas. I doubt he's gonna let you sleep with him rotting away in here." 

She went silent. "You all...beat Chuck?" 

"You bet your ass we did."

She looked shocked, "You all never cease to amaze me. You keep fighting even when the odds are against you," She said, deep in thought.

"You're right. We don't give up. We're not enemies you want to keep." He said fiercely.

She thought about this for a very long moment. 

"Do you actually believe the reason I'm awake now is that I have your angel here?"

"Absolutely," Dean answered. He was lying; of course, he had no idea why the empty was awake. He just had to get Cas back; that was the only thing on his mind. She looked down a moment before letting out a sharp sigh. She snapped, and suddenly Cas, in his dirty trench coat and cobalt blue tie, lay at her feet, asleep. Dean ran to him faster than he ever ran in his life, collapsing to the floor to scoop the sleeping angel into his arms. Dean looked up at the empty, confused.

"Assuming you make it out of here alive, I want you to ask your God to put me to sleep." 

"I will," Dean told her, not fully trusting it could be this easy.

she nodded one last time. "If you don't, I will be back to collect your angel. And I won't be so generous next time," 

Dean nodded. Instantaneously, she disappeared. Dean looked down at the face of Cas, a face he knew so well. 

"Cas, hey, can you hear me?" Dean shook the angel's shoulders, but Cas did not budge. He cupped his face in his palms.  
"Cas, it's Dean, please…" His voice became shaky, "Please, Cas I-I…need you." But Cas still did not move. Dean pressed his forehead to the angel's, letting the tears which had been building for days finally fall. 

Suddenly, Cas's face muscles stiffened before his eyelashes fluttered open, revealing those cobalt blue eyes which perfectly matched his tie. He had that familiar, confused look on his face. Dean feeling the sudden stiffening of muscles, lifted his head up. He looked at Cas with wide eyes before yelling, "Oh, my go—Cas! You're — you're alive!" 

Cas was so utterly shocked to see Dean, he was speechless. Dean smiled so widely that his cheeks hurt. He laughed and cried simultaneously, pulling Cas into a tight hug.  
"Dean?" Castiel said in his grave tone of voice, "How..?" he questioned, but hugged Dean back all the same. 

"I couldn't leave you here, Cas, I could never. Damnit, I'm so happy you're okay." He said, pulling back to look at Cas's face. 

Cas smiled at this statement, but his expression fell after a moment. "Dean the empty… it's a dangerous enough place for celestial beings. It can't be good for humans. You shouldn't have come…its' not safe. I cannot let you get hurt on my account." 

"Well, you definitely proved that when you sacrificed yourself for me." Dean said before he could stop himself. 

Cas blushed, memories of his confession suddenly flooding back to him, "Dean, I—I had to save you, I didn't know what else to say." 

Dean averted his eyes, "Did you mean it?" 

Cas sputtered a moment, a bit abashed, "Do you think I'd be here if I didn't?" 

Dean's eyes widened at this affirmation. He thought it must have been a mistake...but Cas had just confirmed it, again. He felt embarrassed now, too, suddenly realizing he was holding Cas still, cradling his head. Then, the walls of the empty flickered.

"Son of a bitch! Sam and Jack: they're holding this whole thing open. We gotta go. Now!" They scrambled out of their embrace and to their feet. Cas, though, was too weak to walk. Dean slung his arm over his shoulder to offer himself as a crutch. They started running towards the direction that Dean began from. After a while, a bright light appeared in the distance. Dean knew that was it: the portal to the bunker. 

"There it is, Cas!" They ran faster now, the walls weakening every moment they were there. A bead of sweat rolled down Dean's sharp brow. They finally made it and dove through the opening, collapsing at Jack's feet. Seeing them, Jack fell back, unable to hold the door open anymore. For a moment, they all stared at each other breathlessly. Then Jack crawled over to hug Cas and Dean in an exhausted embrace. He laughed incoherently, which turned into happy sobs.

"You're alive. You're both alive," Jack said incredulously.

They hugged their son back. Eventually, Sam joined them, and they all were hugging and crying into one another on the floor of the bunker.

Afterwhile, the four found the strength to pull themselves up off the floor.

"I don't know about you all, but I'm starving," Dean said, wiping the remainder of the tears that stained his face.  
The rest chuckled. Of course, Dean was hungry. He was always hungry.

"We should celebrate. We have beers and apple pie in the kitchen. And we could order some pizzas," Sam agreed.

"It's settled." Dean smiled. Sam, Jack, and Cas walked into the kitchen, while Dean called the pizza parlor to make their order: One large cheese, and one large meat-lovers: his favorite. After ordering, he sauntered into the kitchen to see his little family already sipping on beers. 

"I just ordered our pizzas. I'm about to go pick them up, be back in twenty." He told them, grabbing his keys.

"I can join you, Dean," Cas said, standing up from the table.

Dean felt nervous again but said, "Sure thing, Cas," And walked to the garage.

The first part of the drive was silent. Dean didn't know what to say, and Castiel didn't know where to start. They had already picked up the pizzas without saying a word to each other. On the drive back, Castiel decided to try to piece together a sentence:

"Dean I...I came with you because I feel I need to...clear the air with you," Cas started, unsure of what words would follow, "When I...said what I did...It was something I planned to keep to myself, always. I would have never told you if it wasn't to save you." 

Dean threw Cas a flustered, angry look, "You're telling me you would've lived with this on your chest until--until what? I died, and you didn't have to see me anymore?"

Cas flickered his eyes nervously and disparagingly said, "Yes..."

Dean pulled over on the side of the desolate dirt road that led to the bunker, a vibrant, orange sunset blazing through the windshield, giving the two men's silhouettes a warm cast. He was too angry to argue with Cas and drive at the same time. He turned his body to face the angel. 

"What the hell, Cas?"

"You're angry. That's why I didn't want to tell you."

"You think I'm angry because you're in love with me?" Dean yelled.  
They both looked a bit startled at the word love. 

"You're not...angry with me?"

"No, I'm not angry with you, dumbass. I'm angry because of the circumstances, Cas! You would've spent years not being honest, not being happy. And I'm supposed to just be okay with that? You sacrificed yourself for me, which you should have never done!" Dean said tearfully.

"Dean, I was happy to die for you! You saved the world like I knew you would. You have the biggest heart of any human I know. You've given me so much. You taught to be human, how to have compassion. How to love..." Tears started to fall from Cas' eyes, "You asked me in the empty: Did I mean what I said. Of course, I meant it. I didn't know it was possible for someone like me to feel like that. I've spent eons thinking that I was practically invincible. Until I met you. You are my vulnerability, Dean. Since I've met you, you have been my Achille's heel, my blind spot. It took me so long to realize why that was. It took me years to realize that everything, every decision I made, it was for you. It took me years to realize that...I am completely and hopelessly in love with you, Dean Winchester."

Dean sat there, staring at Cas for a long, drawn-out moment. 

"Cas, I--I don't know what to say."

"I know...I don't expect you to say anything." 

They sat a beat, wordlessly, before Dean tried to formulate a sentiment of his own:  
"I spent days...thinking about you while you were gone..." Dean didn't really know where he was taking this, but he kept going all the same, "You probably don't know this, but every time I've...lost you...I feel like I'm lost too."

Now Dean was perplexed; what was he trying to say? "But this last time, hurt so much worse because of what you said when you went. I tried to make sense of those words and how they made me feel. I tried to make sense of what those feelings were, but I chucked it up to losing my best friend. But holding you in the empty, not sure if you'd wake up again this time, something told me that it was...more than that," Dean paused, trying to comb through the millions of thoughts spinning in his head. Cas straightened up with anticipation, cocking his head to the side and giving his familiar, confused look. Dean made eye contact. Chartreuse green meeting cobalt blue irises. Eyes that were filled with the earnest conviction of love, eyes that he felt like he was seeing, truly seeing, for the first time right then. And with that, something in Dean broke like a dam, and a flood of emotions overcame him. Like the walls he built up around his heart finally started to fall. A realization finally came to fruition. And he began to sob.

"Dean...?" Cas asked, concerned for his friend, reaching out to grasp his hand to comfort him.

"Cas, you--you're..." He tried to start. Cas nodded, trying to understand Dean's shaky words.

"You are my vulnerability, too, Cas. I always thought that I was just a good soldier, a weapon of destruction. But you...you are the only person who has ever made me feel like I'm more than that...that I'm worth something. That I'm worth loving. " He said, sure that this was the most honest he had been with anyone in his life, "And I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize how important you are to me..." 

Cas shuddered, "What are you saying, Dean?"

Dean reached over to hold Cas's face in his palm, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb.  
"I love you, Cas. I don't know why it's taken me this long to say it. Maybe a part of me never...allowed myself to feel that way for you. Maybe this is something I've pushed away for so long I don't recognize what love even looks like anymore. But who else do I constantly think about? Who else would I put myself on the line for? Who else do I love the way that I love you?"  
Cas lay his hand over Dean's, which still held his face, stroking his cheek. 

"Are you saying...?"

"I'm saying I'm yours, Cas," Dean said with a smile. 

Cas smiled back, with the rare, toothy smile he did on occasion when he was truly happy. And for the first time in years, he was. Glassy-eyed, Dean leaned near to Castiel's face, closer than he'd ever been before. Castiel could count each freckle on Dean's tanned skin. His smile faltered a bit to nervousness, as did Dean's. Slowly, they tilted their heads and moved even closer, feeling the heat of each other's breath on their skin. Their lips parted a bit, and they fell into one another. It was a long, slow passionate kiss, one they both had wanted longer than they could ever know. They pulled apart to look at each other and smiled. Dean chuckled, and Cas looked down, blushing. Then, he noticed Dean's jacket with the bloody handprint he'd left on his chest the day The Empty took him. His eyes softened even more if that was possible. He lay his hand over the stain, and Dean stopped laughing to look. 

"You gripped me tight and raised me from perdition," Dean said, meeting Cas's eyes again.

"And now you've returned the favor," Cas smiled, "I love you, Dean."

"And I love you, Cas," Dean said, pulling him back into a kiss. This time, the kisses were fiercer and faster. Dean pushed his hand into Castiel's black hair, and the angel pulled him closer by the hem of his jacket. That sense of longing returned to the pit of Dean's stomach like a fire inside of him. Dean yanked on his tie, and Cas made a hoarse growl into Dean's lips. He bit Dean's bottom lip to signal his approval. Dean smiled as he began to unbutton Cas's starchy white shirt. With their tear-stained faces, the happy pair fell into another bout of sloppy, giggly kisses. 

Sometime later, Cas and Dean found their way back to the bunker.

"That was way longer than 20 minutes," Sammy said as they entered the kitchen.

"The pizza man was very busy," Cas said, covering for them.

"Yep--yes, he was. Very busy." Dean added.

"Uh-huh..." Sam said, not sure what they had gotten into...and not sure if he wanted to know. He was pretty sure he knew what 'pizza-man' was code for.

Afterwhile, the boys sat around the table, enjoying the last few pieces of pizza and polishing off the beer and pie. Once they got Castiel up to speed on what had happened after he died, he asked, "So Jack…your God?"

"Yes. "Jack answered. "I was hoping once we got you back, you'd be open to helping me make heaven a better place. I've made a few changes already, but I'd still like to have your input."  
"Well, Jack, I'd love to help you, and of course, I am happy to give all the advice I can muster now that you're running heaven," He said coyly, "But I--I wanted to ask something of you." 

"Anything," He said.

"I've thought about this a very long time. And I didn't ever think I would ever be able to ask with Chuck in charge of things, given our relationship. But now that you're in charge, I might as well try. I want to be…human." The table went silent. 

"You don't want to be an angel anymore?" Sam questioned. 

"It's not that simple. I've loved being an angel. But I'm tired of the endless years, the constant duty. The few years I've spent with you all...have been the best of my life. You all made me feel like I'm finally living. And I can't see myself trying to move on...after you guys are gone. Jack will be up in heaven, but an angel's work is never done, and I don't think I can do that anymore. I want to grow old with the Winchesters," He said, eyes lingering on Dean. Dean reached for Cas's hand under the table and squeezed. He couldn't believe Cas would give up being an angel to grow old with him and Sammy. 

"You're sure about this?" Dean asked.

"I am," Castiel replied with a reassuring smile. 

Jack contemplated in his mind for a moment before a small grin covered his face, "You deserve this, Castiel; your wish is my command," Jack said. And with a snap, it was done: Castiel was human.

ONE YEAR LATER

"Don't forget it's family dinner tonight," Sam said as he and Dean pulled into the garage after a long hunt. 

"Oh yeah, what are Eileen and Cas making this time?"

"Well, whenever I asked them, they said it would be, and I quote, 'ten times better than whatever the hell you call a Winchester-surprise."

Dean chuckled. "I didn't think it was that bad." 

"They told me that we aren't allowed to cook on family dinner nights anymore." 

"Come on!" They both laughed but headed inside anyway.  
Their dog Miracle greeted them as they walked towards the smells of the kitchen. "Come on, boy, let's go see Cas and Eileen," Dean said, and the dog trotted behind them to follow.

In the kitchen, Castiel and Eileen were flipping burgers and laughing about a joke one of them had told.

"What smells so good?" Dean asked, entering the room. 

"Burgers!" Eileen said while simultaneously signing in ASL. 

"Music to my ears," Dean replied. Sam walked in after him and went to Eileen, kissing her on the cheek before laying a hand on her pregnant belly. 

"How are you?" He asked her. 

"Better now you're here," she cooed, "But you stink. Go wash up," He chuckled.

Dean walked over to Castiel, now cutting lettuce, and placed his chin on the curve of his shoulder.  
"Hello, Dean." 

"Howdy, Cas." Dean planted a smooch of Cas's cheek before grabbing a hamburger bun and taking a bite of it. 

"Dean, we're eating in like, 10 minutes. Is that necessary?" 

"Hunger is a danger Cas, you want me going hungry?" He asked jokingly. 

Cas laughed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever…Will you call Jack down and stop eating the buns." 

"Fine," Dean chuckled. "Jack!" Dean pray-yelled up to his son, "Ass down in ten! Dinner! No skipping this time!"

After a few minutes, Jack whooshed down. "Sorry, God-duties are keeping me busy. What are we having? Not the Winchester-surprise, I hope?" 

"Hey, no talking crap about the Winchester-surprise, and no, it's burger night," Dean said, laying an arm around Jack's shoulder, both smiling.

After Dean and Sam washed up and Castiel, Eileen, and Jack set the table, it was time to eat. Sam and Dean recounted their hunt of the weekend and Cas and Eileen theirs. Then, Jack filled them in on all of heaven's news. "But Bobby and Rufus decided that fighting wasn't the answer." he lamented. They all chuckled. 

"You know what I just realized?" Dean started, "It's been one year since the end of the world."

"You're right," Cas said. 

"That also marks a year since ya'll started dating." Sam teased, sipping his beer. Eileen playfully slapped his arm. They both softened. 

"I guess you're right," Dean smiled, "Happy anniversary, angel." Cas grinned toothily at the nickname. Even if Cas wasn't an actual angel anymore, he'd always be Dean's.

"One year with Dean Winchester as my boyfriend…a sentence if you told me a decade ago… I'd probably just stab you with my angel blade out of spite." The table broke out in laughter. They looked like a big happy family, and truthfully, they were. Dean and Cas smiled at each other and leaned into a kiss. 

"Hey now, no PDA!" Sam teased.

Eileen slapped his forearm, "That rule is no fun, Sam," She said, pulling him into a kiss of their own.

"Fine, that rule is...overruled." Sam said chuckling into her lips.

They all laughed again and enjoyed the rest of their dinner.

Dean thought about how much he loved his life at this very moment. Everyone at this table, he loved. And they were happy. The world wasn't always in danger, and they were all together. He thought back to a year ago, how lost he was. He thought about that night where he couldn't sleep when he felt guilty and restless. He wasn't happy. Now look how much had changed. He knew tonight, with the world as it should be, his family happy and well, He would be able to find peace easily and rest assured that the man he loved was beside him. He knew he could lay his weary head to rest.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> hello folks!
> 
> ahhh, this was so much fun! I made this account because I overestimated what the supernatural finale would be and was kinda let down tbh. so i decided to share my idea for an alternate ending. I tried to keep it as close to what I think the characters would do in the canonical universe and what I think would be covered in an average episode runtime.
> 
> I've never done anything like this before so i hope someone out there found it enjoyable! If anyone shows interest in my work, i would be so down to post more of my writing. but I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you think!
> 
> thanks for reading!
> 
> peace and love,
> 
> -m


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